I’ve been a sports enthusiast my entire life, but golf never really grabbed me. I had golf clubs, briefly played on my high school team, and would occasionally visit the local course with friends. However, I never followed the sport as closely as others, until I hit 30.
Now, I find myself watching golf videos before bed and even attended a live tournament near my home. I’ve gradually upgraded my equipment over the past few years, resulting in a fairly decent set, although my playing skills haven’t quite caught up.
Ironically, I’ve always loved golf video games, even before my recent interest in the real sport. I’d argue that Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour is one of the best sports games ever made. I still remember the music from hours spent playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005. And Everybody’s Golf from 2017 remained a favorite for a long time.
So, when I heard about the release of Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots, I was genuinely excited. However, my enthusiasm quickly turned to concern when I learned that Clap Hanz, the series’ developer since 1999, wasn’t involved, and HYDE would be taking over. Despite my initial apprehension, I hoped that the new entry would still deliver a great experience.
Sadly, that’s not the case. Despite my fondness for arcade golf games and my newfound interest in real golf, Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots is a major disappointment. While I managed to find some enjoyment in it at times, it was consistently challenging to do so. Let me explain why.
Performance That Kills The Experience
One positive aspect of Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots is that it quickly gets you into the game. While I enjoyed the 2017 title, the lengthy introduction was a drawback. I appreciated that this new game mostly skips the tutorial and lets you start playing right away.
However, this also means you’ll quickly realize that Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots is not ready for prime time. The game’s performance is poor, and this hurts the experience from the beginning. Initially, I thought the issue was limited to character animations and the ball’s flight, which would have been annoying but tolerable.
The real problem is that the performance issues affect the swing power meter. This critical flaw immediately disqualifies Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots from being a good golf game. The game relies on the classic three-button swing input system found in other Hot Shots and Mario Golf games. If that system doesn’t work correctly, the game has no redeeming qualities.
Unfortunately, there’s no way to adjust your swing to compensate for the inconsistent performance. At times, the game runs smoothly, and the power bar fills up as expected. However, moments later, the power bar might start to stutter as you begin your swing. You’re left hoping that the game accurately registers your inputs.
…the direction and distance your shots ultimately go feels super random.
More often than not, these performance drops affect the power or accuracy of your shot, leading to hooks or slices. This issue became apparent within the first 10 minutes of playing, and it never improved. Playing in the rain only exacerbates the problem due to the added visual effects.
Even if you could somehow account for the unreliable swing meter, it wouldn’t matter much. The direction and distance of your shots often feel random. While a character’s control stat can contribute, it’s a persistent problem regardless.
It’s frustrating to think you’ve hit a good shot, only to end up in the rough, a bunker, or overshooting the green by a significant margin. Factors like ball lie and wind exist, but that’s not the primary issue. Trust me, the game will randomly punish you, and you’ll have to recover.
Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots offers two alternative swing meter styles: one based on visible feedback and a curved power bar. However, these options are either the same or worse than the traditional meter, making them ultimately useless.
Regardless of the swing style you choose, the core issues remain. When the game ran smoothly and my shots seemed accurate, I had enjoyable moments. Sadly, these moments were rare and fleeting.
Chatter In The Backswing
If you enjoyed customizing your avatar and climbing the tour rankings in the 2017 game, there’s more bad news. There’s no character creation in this new title. You’ll have to unlock 30 pre-made golfers, starting with a meager selection of two.
While I don’t mind unlocking new players, losing the ability to personalize them beyond changing outfit colors is disappointing. Furthermore, many of the characters are simply annoying, constantly spouting nonsensical lines that led me to mute them after a few rounds.
Here are some actual lines you’ll hear repeatedly: “This is so cringe,” “I feel the evil dragon within my left arm stirring, ahh!” “OMG! I’m like *totally* killing it.”
My response was usually a quiet “Yikes.”
I know what you’re thinking: “Character quips are common in JRPGs. You get used to them.” I understand, and I’ve played games where they become endearing. The Persona series is one of my favorites, and I enjoy the cheesy campiness.
The constant chatter and emoting are genuinely distracting.
However, that’s not the case with Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots. It quickly becomes grating. This is compounded by the fact that the crowd and your caddie also chatter constantly, creating a cacophony similar to a chaotic scene from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
I was willing to embrace the characters’ quirks and find my favorites. The idea of a golfer possessed by a dragon spirit intrigued me. However, did I need to hear about it 300 times per match? Did I need him to collapse, blocking my view of a putt while he wrestled with the invisible dragon?
The constant chatter and emoting proved distracting, so I muted the characters and the crowd. I would have muted my caddie too, but they offered occasional helpful tips for tricky putts, so I tolerated them for that small benefit.
Prepare To Grind
The game offers several single-player modes, including Stroke Play, Match Play, and the option to play solo. However, the core experience lies in Challenge Mode and World Tour. Challenge Mode presents increasingly difficult tournaments on various courses. Some consist of 18 holes, while others are shorter.
Success in Challenge Mode unlocks Versus Matches against new golfers, which then unlock new courses upon completion. This progression loop quickly turns into a grind.
It’s frustrating to start the game with only one playable course, requiring you to unlock more through Challenge Mode. I enjoy unlocking content in other games (like Mario Golf), but restricting so much content from the start feels like a poor decision. Starting with one course and two golfers is a challenge. While having ten courses and 30 golfers is a good collection eventually, it requires a significant grind.
World Tour serves as a Story Mode, where each of the 30 golfers has their own set of challenges. Before each challenge, you’ll encounter visual novel-style interactions between characters, devoid of voice-over and featuring unremarkable writing. You can skip these scenes, suggesting the developers knew they were unnecessary.
Night golfing is also new to Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots, making it dark and causing your golf ball to glow. That’s all there is to it.
Online play involves creating or joining rooms for Stroke or Match play, and you can also compete on timed leaderboards. Local multiplayer is also available, enabling you to play with friends on the couch.
Finally, Wacky Golf, available in single and local multiplayer, includes Colorful Mode, Scramble (Alternate Shot), Survival (club stealing), and Boom Golf. Colorful Mode and Boom Golf are the most noteworthy.
Colorful Golf places randomly colored landing patches on the ground, providing perks, debuffs, or items. These patches add interesting twists, such as spawning more holes or summoning animals to interfere with opponents. This mode can be fun with friends.
Boom Golf hides bombs under the grass that explode upon impact, launching your ball randomly. While chaotic, it lacks strategy. Again, this can be fun with friends, but the novelty wears off quickly.
Good For Golf 101
I’ll commend Everybody’s Golf Hot Shots for being a very accessible golf game from an educational perspective. While less complex than golf simulators like PGA 2